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Nothing can stress me out like a good ol’ customer service phone call. There I was, on the phone with a faceless Comcast call center supervisor, after being transferred (by another rep) to a dead line. My internet wasn’t working, so I couldn’t work. I had no choice but to sit and wait and hold and gobble up my wireless airtime while growing more anxious by the minute.
I just wanted it all to be over. Being tethered to the phone felt almost claustrophobic — I couldn’t get out. I mean, I could hang up, but then I’d only have to call back again and go through another hour (or more) of basic troubleshooting that resolves nothing. (And, with my luck, another cold transfer to a dead line.)
So there I was, talking to Solomon — a supervisor.
A HOOK AND A “CATCH”
After a long time on hold, Solomon finally determined the cause of the problem – someone at Comcast goofed when I moved to my new house. They didn’t “bring over” the router, or something like that, and therefore my router was invisible to them.
(Of course, that doesn’t explain why my internet has worked fine here at my new house for the past 6 days. But I’ll ignore that fact for the sake of my sanity. Asking too many questions only serves to send the anxiety train on its way downhill.)
He had me power cycle again, and then visit their website to re-connect my internet. I followed his instructions: I entered my account number, my phone number, and then…
…it asked me to select a new internet service.
I didn’t want to change my internet service. I wanted the same old service I always had. At the same old price.
“Solomon,” I said, “I don’t want any of these. I want my old service.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” he responded. “Just pick the top one for now and then you can contact billing and tell them to change it back to the previous price point.”
It sounded fishy, but I relented. And why? Elapsed time on the phone: 2 hours.
SURELY THE REP WILL DELIVER
With my internet finally back up (yay!), Solomon said he’ll transfer me to billing. I asked, just in case I got disconnected, if I could have the direct number for billing so I wouldn’t get lost in the “please hold” IVR hellhole that Barry pushed me into.
“No, I’m sorry,” he said, “but it’s an internal phone number that only our phones can dial.”
Okay.
“Well, Solomon, can you at least warm transfer me so I don’t have to explain everything all over again?”
(If you didn’t know, a warm transfer is when the CSR calls the new department on another line, explains your situation to them, and then transfers you into the three-way call and says something like “Hey there Summer, I’ve got John on the line here in billing. He’ll take over from here.”)
“Sure, I can do a warm transfer,” Solomon promised.
He put me on hold. I waited.
And waited.
First, a few beeps. Then, an ominous click. I looked at my phone to see if I was still connected to Solomon – or anyone at Comcast, for that matter.
Nope. I was not.
He’d hung up on me. Seriously?
Seriously. Again.
I’m done.
(What’s your most stressful customer service story? Let me know in the comments, or share it with me on Twitter via the #csstress hashtag.)
Photo: tommipictures.de (Flickr)