(Note: We spend so much time dwelling on the debilitating effects of our anxiety disorders, don’t we? I sure as hell do.
Why not devote an entire day to focusing on our accomplishments [instead of our bumps in the road]?
Enter “Win Wednesday“: a day to reflect upon the past week and share our successes — no matter what their shape or size.)
It’s here! Happy Wednesday.
Today, we’re not just celebrating the midpoint of the work week — we’re here to celebrate Panic About Anxiety’s inaugural Win Wednesday.
The rules are simple:
- Read about my own “win” for the week (if you’d like).
- Post your own win in the comments below (and on Twitter, if you’d like, with a #winwednesday hashtag).
- Read about the wins of your fellow anxiety sufferers (and cheer them on)!
Define “win” however you’d like. Tell us how you overcame anxiety this week, even if only for one fleeting moment. Perhaps you bravely walked down to the end of your driveway to collect the day’s mail. Maybe you managed to talk to your boss without getting a nervous stomach. Or maybe you made it through a grocery shopping trip without meds.
No matter how “large” or “small” the success might seem to the “outside world”, your success is 100% valid here.
I BOUGHT PASTA AND CRACKERS
Yep. That’s my win for the week — I bought pasta and crackers.
I went to the grocery store on Sunday night because, well, I was feeling confident. (Although I’ve beat agoraphobia into a [seemingly] lifeless pulp in some ways, it still manages to rise up and grab my ankles occasionally. Grocery shopping used to be off the table for me. Now, I can manage, but still with some difficulty.)
There I am, feeling confident and all, rolling through the store with my metal cart and grabbing everything on my shopping list. Wheat rolls? Check. Bananas? Got ‘em. Lox and cream cheese? Okay, that was an impulse buy (and a very tasty one).
Still, item by item, I checked groceries off of my list. Onions. Sausage. Yogurt. Check, check, check.
I was down to pasta and crackers. (The crackers weren’t on the list; I needed something to go with my lox and cream cheese, though.)
WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF?
I sort of froze in the store when I realized how full my cart was. The usual fears, like weeds, crept up into my conscious awareness: what if I panic in line while stuck between the conveyor belt and the candy and other shoppers? What if, before I even get to that point, I get lightheaded in the pasta aisle? There are too many choices in the pasta aisle. Goddamn pasta aisle.
And, of course, I’d planted the seeds in my own head: suddenly, I got lightheaded. I started to sweat. I felt a pronounced sense of vertigo.
I had two options: first, I could abandon ship and run out of the store to my “safe place” (my car).
Or, I could pause, gain composure, and then continue on (with the knowledge that, if it gets too bad, I could revert back to Option One at any time).
I stood still for a moment and played with my phone to distract myself from my body’s unrequested adrenaline dump. Then, I plotted my course of action: first, pasta aisle. If I survive that, then, crackers. I need pasta for dinner tomorrow, but I could always eat lox and cream cheese on toast or something.
Yes, I may be panicky, but I’m also stubborn. I rolled along to the pasta aisle.
Pasta. Check. (Those adorable little stars, too: “pastina”, they’re called.)
Then the cracker aisle. Sea salt crackers? Yum. I’ll take them. Off the shelf, into the cart, and I was done.
The anxiety faded and I took a deep, full breath as I wheeled my loot toward the front of the store. DONE. DID IT. GOT SCARED BUT DID IT ANYWAY.
And that’s what matters most.
To talk about your wins on Twitter, use the hashtag #winwednesday.